Who Are You Becoming While You’re Busy?
There are times when life gets so busy that we hardly stop to think about what all of it is doing to us. We have work to do, people depending on us, family responsibilities, ministry, problems to deal with, calls to return, and things that simply have to get done. Most days we just keep moving, but every now and then I believe we need to stop and ask ourselves a simple question: Who am I becoming in the middle of all of this? I have had to ask myself that question more than once. There have been times when I was taking care of responsibilities, helping people, working, and trying to make sure everything was handled, but I had to stop and ask what kind of person I was becoming while doing it. Was I still patient? Was I really listening to people? Was I present with my family, or was my mind always somewhere else? Was I giving the people closest to me the best of me, or just what was left after a long day?
Jesus said, “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” Mark 8:36 KJV. I have known that verse for many years, but the older I get, the more I think about what Jesus was really saying. A person can gain a lot in life and still lose something important along the way. We can become successful and still become impatient. We can work hard and still become distant from the people we love. We can be respected by others and still not be easy to live with. We can spend so much time helping everyone around us that our own family begins to get whatever time and energy we have left, and that is something I believe all of us need to be careful about.
The people outside our homes often see a different side of us than the people who live with us. Others may see what we accomplish, but our families know our attitude. People may admire how hard we work, but our families know whether we are really present. People may respect us as leaders, but the people closest to us know whether we listen, whether we can say we are sorry, and whether we treat them with patience when we are tired or frustrated. I say that knowing I am still learning too. There have been times when I looked back on a conversation and knew I could have handled it better. I could have listened more and been slower to respond. There have even been times when I may have been right about the issue, but I was not right in the way I dealt with it. I have learned that being right does not give us permission to handle people the wrong way.
We spend a lot of time measuring life by what can be seen. We look at our work, income, position, accomplishments, and the things we have been able to build. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do well. I believe we should work hard, take our responsibilities seriously, and make good use of what God has given us, but I do not think those things tell the whole story of how well we are doing. Sometimes we need to ask different questions. Am I more patient than I used to be? Am I learning to listen? Can I admit when I am wrong? Do the people I love feel that I have time for them? Has my walk with God become stronger, or have I simply learned how to fit more things into my day?
David prayed, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23–24 KJV. I like the honesty of that prayer because David was not asking God to show him what everybody else needed to fix. He was asking God to look at him. That is not always easy to do. We usually see other people’s faults much quicker than we see our own. We notice when someone else is impatient, short tempered, proud, or difficult, but sometimes we fail to notice those same things growing in us. Being busy can make that even easier to miss because when we are always moving, we do not have much time to sit quietly and think about how we are really doing. There is always another problem, another call, another responsibility, and another thing that needs our attention.
Maybe progress is not always about doing more. Sometimes progress is putting the phone down and paying attention to the person sitting beside you. Sometimes it is saying no because your family needs your time. Sometimes it is apologizing, forgiving, or admitting that something in your life is out of place and needs to change. Sometimes it is simply getting alone with God and saying, “Lord, I have been busy. I have been trying to take care of a lot of things, but please do not let me become so busy with life that I stop noticing what is happening in me.” That kind of prayer may not change everything around us immediately, but it can begin to change something within us.
As I get older, I think more about these things. Jobs change, positions change, money comes and goes, and the things we work so hard to accomplish eventually become part of the past. But the kind of person we were will have affected our family, our children, the people we worked with, the people we served, and those who spent time around us. I do not only want to ask whether I accomplished something with my life. I also want to know what kind of person I became while I was doing it. Did pressure make me harder, or did I learn from it? Did success make me think more highly of myself, or did it make me more thankful? Did disappointment make me bitter, or did it teach me to trust God more? And when the people closest to me think about the life I lived, will they remember only what I accomplished, or will they remember the kind of man I was with them?
We all have responsibilities, and they are not going away. Tomorrow will probably bring another list of things that need to be done, another problem to solve, and another decision to make. But before we become too busy trying to get through that list, it may be good to stop and ask God one simple question: “Lord, who am I becoming?” Then give Him enough quiet time to answer. Maybe that is one of the most important things we can do in a busy life.
Danny M. Ku
Become the Change Ministry
Changing the World One Person at a Time
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